


Je Veux te Voir

by Kummerspeck7



Series: Fixing the Finale [1]
Category: Royal Pains
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fix-It, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:07:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24665116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kummerspeck7/pseuds/Kummerspeck7
Summary: I figured if he…” She paused like the word was caught in her throat. “Loved you, if he loves you like you love him, he left you a way to reach him. The risk would be worth it.”Jill fixes the series finale after the Memorial Day barbecue.
Relationships: Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz/Hank Lawson
Series: Fixing the Finale [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783354
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	Je Veux te Voir

Hank hated coming back to the Hamptons for Memorial Day.

He enjoyed seeing Evan. He loved his niece and all four of his rambunctious nephews. He liked being in a place with adequate medical supplies where he could trust that the electricity was available and the water was potable. Truthfully, he didn't mind getting a break from work in general. But Hank hated that he couldn't ignore the emptiness inside him while visiting his family at Shadow Pond. Three years earlier he'd left the Hamptons with the hope that traveling would complete him. He thought working things out with Jill would somehow fix everything and to some extent it had. 

In Africa they were happy. They drank wine together and healed people together and it was just the two of them--uninterrupted. There were no surprise ex husbands or optics or distractions to worry about; they were free to be happy and in love. If it wasn't a union of all-consuming passion that was fine because it was nice and it was good and it was permanent. They weren't rushing to set a date but they were definitely getting married at some point. So it wasn't about them. It was something about Shadow Pond. 

Every inch of the castle reminded Hank of Boris even though the place was littered with toys and missing all the priceless antiques. He could walk the same halls where he first confronted Boris about his disease. He watched his nephews swim where his friend was poisoned. Paige turned the man's preferred first-floor office into a posh living room and Hank could never seem to decide if he wanted to avoid it entirely or if he wanted to sleep there and let the memories of their five years together wash over him in the dark. Sometimes he would go to the basement and stand where the shark tank used to be, remembering when Boris had confessed-- I like you, Hank. He avoided croissants because they were Boris' favorite morning indulgence. When he went for runs around the estate he never stopped expecting to see that black Porsche in the driveway. And every year he celebrated the moment they met.

At exactly 11:15pm on the Friday of Memorial Day weekend Hank would go to the room where fate had brought them together. He would look at the carpet where April had gasped for air. He'd remember the first time he saw Boris: imposing, controlled, poised. He would go over their conversation in his mind. Every year it seemed to get just a little more fuzzy at the edges; every year the sense of loss got a little more acute. He would follow the route they walked-- from the living room to the room April had recovered in to Boris’ upstairs office. Hank looked down at his watch.

11:13

He made his way to the room where they first met eight long years ago. Almost three years had passed since he'd seen the man literally ride off into the sunset. Three years and he could still close his eyes and recall Boris’ cologne. He could remember the man's hands on his body as they embraced at the beach. He could never forget how hard it had been to let Boris walk away. He could never forget what it was like to have the man's neck under his hand, how close he'd come to crushing their lips together. But Boris had a family: a beautiful wife and a miracle child. He couldn't let his feelings get in the way of that. 

Hank entered the dark room. He could still remember April on the floor surrounded by people and in need of help. It was so easy to close his eyes and pretend that Boris was going to walk right through that door, that all their grand adventures together were still before him. Maybe when he opened his eyes again it would all have been a dream and this time they could do things differently-- Maybe instead of becoming the man's doctor he could become his friend, maybe they could be so much more. 

He wanted to get lost in his wonderful fantasy but a nagging voice kept reminding him that Boris wasn't going to walk through that door. Their time together was over. Boris was never going to come back and their adventures were behind him. An all too familiar ache settled in behind his breastbone. He knew he needed to get over the man, he just didn't know how. Where would he even start? How could he forget the silver hair he never got to run his hands through or the piercing cerulean eyes that always seemed to see right through him or the expressive, talented mouth he never got to kiss--

“At first I thought I was crazy, you know.” A voice interrupted his thoughts from the doorway. “Boris and Hank? They're just friends. There's nothing to be jealous about.”

Jill looked like she'd been crying. She looked at him like he'd broken her heart. Hank wanted to say he didn't know what she was talking about, but of course he did. It was ridiculous of him to assume she wouldn't notice. She deserved better than to be lied to. He stayed quiet. 

“The first year we stayed here I woke up and realized you still hadn't come to bed. I found you in here and I actually thought you were retracing your steps to where we met. It was so romantic, Hank! I was so blinded by love.” She rolled her eyes. “Then last year I watched you just stand here and stare at the door. That's when I realized-- Boris was more than a friend to you, wasn't he?"

"No." Hank assured her. "Nothing ever happened. I just--"

"I thought I could fix it. I thought I could make you forget him if we were happy enough. I was so stupid, Hank! Thinking that I could mean more to you than he does. We went back to Africa after just a couple of weeks here and you started dreaming about him. You say his name in your sleep sometimes. At first I was afraid I was going to lose you, but then you proposed and I realized something. I realized--” She took a deep breath. “--You were never going to do anything. You weren't planning on leaving, you wanted to marry me! You were going to waste the rest of our lives loving someone else."

Hank shook his head. "Jill--"

"The really pathetic thing is that I thought about it for months. I actually considered my options. The hardest part was not telling Divya that I was torn between marrying this great guy and making this great life together…" She trailed off, gesturing towards the door. "Or letting him go because he was in love with someone else. That's how I decided. I know my worth, and I want more for me than settling for being your second choice. I am not pathetic. I deserve more. And because I love you, I decided you deserve more, too. So I fixed it for you.”

"What?" Hank frowned. “Fixed it?”

Jill shrugged. “I called him."

It was like the world stopped. He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe. "What?"

"A few days ago. I had to wait until we got back to confirm my suspicions. I figured if he…” She paused like the word was caught in her throat. “Loved you, if he loves you like you love him, he left you a way to reach him. The risk would be worth it.”

“Jill--”

“And I was right.” She continued over him. “And I'm not crazy. I started asking myself why Boris would leave Udo. Loyal, trustworthy, dependable Udo. Then I thought, 'hey! Maybe my fiance is in love with his best friend. And maybe his friend loves him back so much he paid his personal assistant to stay nearby just in case my future husband needed him’. So I talked to Udo-- And Hank? I was right." She informed him triumphantly. "That's why Udo stayed. I told him everything: how you wander around here looking like a ghost, how you dream about Boris, how unhappy you are-- even if you don't realize it. And good ol’ Udo gave me a phone number.”

“You talked to him.” Hank breathed. He pulled her into his arms and wrapped her in a hug. It was everything he couldn't say, all his regrets that he'd hurt her and how grateful he was that she had done something so enormous for him. "Thank you."

“Hank?” Jill finally asked.

He pulled back. “Yes?” 

“Please stop asking women to marry you.” She cried through her smile. “Okay?”

“Okay.” Hank laughed for a second as he lightly traced her cheek with his thumb. “I promise.”

“Good.” Jill nodded, wiping a tear from her eye. “He's up in his old office, the one on the top floor. He's waiting for you. I'm going to stay with my brother for a week then head home. Let me know if you're coming back to Africa; I handed in your letter of resignation before we left, but I can still get it back if you want.”

“Thank you, Jill. For everything. I would have been lucky to marry you.” He said sincerely.

“Yeah, yeah. Go get Boris. I've got to pack.”

She watched him turn and leave. Later she knew she'd cry for real. Later she'd get really drunk and probably call Divya and swear her to secrecy. But that was later. Right now the first step was to get her things and leave.

**Author's Note:**

> As promised, the first of three series finale fix-it fics! I also have a very easy and fluffy oneshot for Pride Month coming soon about the fun parts of Boris and Hank coming to term with their sexualities. 
> 
> Hope everyone is continuing to stay safe! If anyone's participated in a BLM protest let me know and I'll write a fic for you and donate $5 to the charity of your choice--You can pick whatever you want it to be about! Fluffy, angsty, erotic, whatever. It doesn't even have to be for this fandom.


End file.
